Wednesday Evening.
WEDNESDAY EVENING.
Particular Questions relating to Mortification.
1. HAVE I done anything merely because it was pleasing?
2. Have I not only not done what passion solicited me to, but done just the contrary?
3. Have I received the inconveniences I could not avoid as means of mortification chosen for me by God?
4. Have I contrived pretenses to avoid self-denial? In particular,
5. Have I thought any occasion of denying myself too small to be embraced?
6. Have I submitted my will to the will of every one that opposed it, except where the glory of God was concerned?
7. Have I set apart some time for endeavoring after a lively sense of the sufferings of Christ and my own sins? for deprecating God’s judgment, and thinking how to amend?
O ALMIGHTY Lord of heaven and earth, I desire with fear and shame to cast myself down before thee, humbly confessing my manifold sins and unsufferable wickedness. I confess, O great God, that I have sinned grievously against thee by thought, word, and deed, particularly this day. Thy words and thy laws, O God, are holy, and thy judgments are terrible! But I have broken all thy righteous laws, and incurred thy severest judgments; and where shall I appear when thou art angry? But, O Lord my Judge, thou art also my Redeemer! I have sinned, but thou, O blessed Jesus, art my Advocate! “Enter not into judgment with me,” lest I die; but spare me, gracious Lord, “spare thy servant, whom thou hast redeemed with thy most precious blood.” O reserve not evil in store for me against the day of vengeance, but let thy mercy be magnified upon me. Deliver me from the power of sin, and preserve me from the punishment of it.
Thou whose mercy is without measure, whose goodness is unspeakable, despise not thy returning servant, who earnestly begs for pardon and reconciliation. Grant me the forgiveness of what is past, and a perfect repentance of all my sins; that for the time to come I may with a pure spirit do thy will, O God, walking humbly with thee, conversing charitably with men, possessing my soul in resignation and holiness, and my body in sanctification and honor.
“My Lord and my God,” I know that unless I am planted together with thee in the likeness of thy death, I cannot in the likeness of thy resurrection. O strengthen me, that by “denying myself and taking up my cross daily,” I may crucify the old man, and utterly destroy the whole body of sin. Give me grace to “mortify all my members which are upon earth,” all my works and affections which are according to corrupt nature. Let me be dead unto sin, unto every transgression of thy law, which is holy, merciful, and perfect. Let me be dead unto the world, and all that is in the world, “the desire of the flesh, the desire of the eye, and the pride of life.” Let me be dead unto pleasure, so far as it tendeth not to thee and to those pleasures which are at thy right hand for evermore. Let me be dead unto my own will, and alive only unto thine. I am not my own; thou hast “bought me with a price,” with the price of thine own blood. And thou didst therefore die for all, “that we should not henceforth live unto ourselves, but unto Him that died for us.” Arm thou me with this mind; circumcise my heart, and make me a new creature. Let me no longer live to the desires of men, but to the will of God. Let thy Holy Spirit enable me to say with thy blessed Apostle, “I am crucified with Christ: Nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.”
O thou Great Shepherd of souls, bring home unto thy fold all that are gone astray. Preserve thy Church from all heresy and schism, from all that persecute or oppose the truth; and give unto thy Ministers wisdom and holiness, and the powerful aid of thy blessed Spirit. Advance the just interests, and preserve the persons, of all Christian Princes, especially our Sovereign: Give to him and his Royal Family, and to all his subjects, in their several stations, particularly those that are in authority among them, grace to do thy will in this world, and eternal glory in the world to come. Bless, O Lord, all our nurseries of piety and schools of learning, that they may devote all their studies to thy glory. Have mercy on all that are in affliction; remember the poor and needy, the widow and fatherless, the friendless and oppressed; heal the sick and languishing, give them a sanctified use of thy rod, and when thou seest it expedient for them, receive them into the number of thy departed saints, and with them into thine everlasting kingdom.
O my God, I praise thee for thy continual preservation of me, for thy fatherly protection over me this day; (——) for all the comforts with which thou surroundest me, spiritual and temporal; particularly for leave now to pray unto thee. O accept the poor services, pardon the sinfulness of this and all my holy duties, and bless me, my friends and relations, my benefactors and mine enemies, (this night and ever,) with the blessings of thy children.
These my prayers, O most merciful Father, vouchsafe to hear, through the mediation of Jesus Christ our Redeemer; who with thee and the Holy Ghost is worshipped and glorified, in all Churches of the saints, one God blessed for ever!