Thursday Evening.

THURSDAY EVENING.

Particular Questions relating to Resignation and Meekness.

1. HAVE I endeavored to will what God wills, and that only?

2. Have I received everything that has befallen me without my choice, as the choice of infinite wisdom and goodness for me, with thanks?

3. Have I (after doing what he requires of me to do concerning them) left all future things absolutely to God’s disposal; that is, have I labored to be wholly indifferent to which soever way he shall ordain for me?

4. Have I resumed my claim to my body, soul, friends, fame, or fortune, which I have made over to God; or repented of my gift, when God accepted any of them at my hands?

5. Have I endeavored to be cheerful, mild, and courteous in whatever I said or did?

6. Have I said anything with a stern look, accent, or gesture? particularly with regard to religion?

MY Lord and my God, thou seest my heart, and my desires are not hid from thee. I am encouraged by my happy experience of thy goodness, (particularly this day past,) to present myself before thee, notwithstanding I know myself unworthy of the least favor from thee. I am ashamed when I think how long I have lived a stranger, yea, an enemy to thee, taking upon me to dispose of myself, and to please myself in the main course of my life. But I now unfeignedly desire to return unto thee, and, renouncing all interest and propriety in myself, to give myself up entirely to thee; I would be thine, and only thine for ever. But I know I am nothing, and can do nothing of myself; and if ever I am thine, 1 must be wholly indebted to thee for it. O my God, my Savior, my Sanctifier, turn not away thy face from a poor soul that seeks thee; but as thou hast kindled in me these desires, so confirm, increase, and satisfy them. Reject not that poor gift which I would make of myself into thee, but teach me so to make it, that it may be acceptable in thy sight. Lord, hear me, help me, and show mercy unto me, for Jesus Christ’s sake.

To thee, O God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, my Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, I give up myself entirely: May I no longer serve myself, but thee, all the days of my life.

I give thee my understanding: May it be my only care to know thee, thy perfections, thy works, and thy will. Let all things else be as dung and dross unto me, for the excellency of this knowledge. And let me silence all reasonings against whatsoever thou teachest me, who canst neither deceive, nor be deceived.

I give thee my will: May I have no will of my own; whatsoever thou willest may I will, and that only. May I will thy glory in all things, as thou dost, and make that my end in everything; may I ever say with the Psalmist, “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.” May I delight; to do thy will, O God, and rejoice to suffer it. Whatever threatens me, let me say, “It is the Lord, let him do what seemeth him good;” and whatever befalls me, let me give thanks, since it is thy will concerning me.

I give thee my affections: Do thou dispose of them all; be thou my love, my fear, my joy; and may nothing have any share in them, but with respect to thee and for thy sake. What thou lovest, may I love; what thou hatest, may I hate; and that in such measures as thou art pleased to prescribe me.

I give thee my body: May I glorify thee with it, and preserve it holy, fit for thee, O God, to dwell in. May I neither indulge it, nor have too much rigor towards it; but keep it, as far as in me lies, healthy, vigorous, and active, and it to do thee all manner of service which thou shalt call for. I give thee all my worldly goods: May I prize them and use them only for thee: May I faithfully restore to thee, in the poor, all thou hast entrusted me with, above the necessaries of life; and be content to part with them too, whenever thou, my Lord, shalt require them at my hands. I give thee my credit and reputation: May I never value it, but only in respect of thee; nor endeavor to maintain it, but as it may do thee service and advance thy honor in the world.

I give thee myself and my all: Let me look upon myself to be nothing, and to have nothing, out of thee. Be thou the sole disposer and governor of myself and all; be thou my portion and my all.

O my God and my all, when hereafter I shall be tempted to break this solemn engagement, when I shall be pressed to conform to the world, and to the company and customs that surround me; may my answer be, “I am not my own; I am not for myself, nor for the world, but for my God. I will give unto God the things which are God’s. God be merciful to me a sinner.”

Have mercy, O Father of the spirits of all flesh, on all mankind. Convert all Jews, Turks, and Heathens, to thy truth. Bless the catholic Church; heal its breaches, and establish it in truth and peace. Preserve and defend all Christian Princes, especially our Sovereign and his family. Be merciful to this nation; bless the Clergy with soundness of doctrine and purity of life, the Council with wisdom, the Magistrates with integrity and zeal, and the people with loyalty. Bless the Universities with learning and holiness, that they may afford a constant supply of men fit and able to do thee service.

Shower down thy graces on all my relations, on all my friends, and all that belong to this family. Comfort and relieve those that labor under any affliction of body or mind, especially those who suffer for the testimony of a good conscience. Visit them, O gracious Lord, in all their distresses. Thou knowest, thou seest, them under all. O stay their souls upon thee; give them to rejoice that they are counted worthy to suffer for thy name’s sake, and constantly to look unto the author and finisher of their faith. Supply abundantly to all their souls who are in prison, the want of thy holy ordinances, and in thy good time, deliver them, and be merciful unto them, as thou usest to be unto them that love thy name. Those that love or do good to me, reward sevenfold into their bosom; (——) those that hate me (——) convert and forgive; and grant us all, together with thy whole Church, an entrance into thine everlasting kingdom, through Jesus Christ; to whom with thee and the blessed Spirit, three Persons and one God, be ascribed all majesty, dominion, and power, now and for evermore. Amen.