Educating Children.

A THOUGHT

ON

THE MANNER OF EDUCATING CHILDREN.

[PRINTED IN THIS YEAR 1783]

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1. A GENTLEMAN with whom I was conversing a while ago, was speaking largely on the manner of educating children. He objected strongly to the bringing them up too strictly; to the giving them more of religion than they liked; to the telling them of it too often, or pressing it upon them whether they will or no. He said he never pressed it upon his own children, but only spoke of it occasionally in their hearing; and if they appeared affected, then answered their questions, or perhaps spoke to them directly. He thought that the common methods that are used in those that are called religious schools, of talking about divine things continually, and daily pressing it upon children, did abundantly more harm than good; especially if any severity were used: And concluded with saying, that those children who had been trained up in this manner, as soon as the restraint was taken off, were commonly worse than others.

2. As all this was perfectly new to me, I made little answer for the present; but it put me upon much thought. I knew it was quite agreeable to the sentiments of Rousseau in his “Emilius;” the most empty, silly, injudicious thing that ever a self-conceited infidel wrote. But I knew it was quite contrary to the judgment of the wisest and best men I have known. I thought, If these things are so, how much mischief have we done unawares! How much hurt has Miss Bosanquet (now Mrs. Fletcher) been doing in the world for many years! How much more have the Miss Owens done, spoiling twenty children at a time! How much mischief is Miss Bishop likely to do! Perhaps more than even Miss Owen! Above all, how much mischief has been done, and is now doing, at Kingswood, where (if this hypothesis be true) we are continually ruining fifty children at a time!

3. “But be this as it may, I urge the matter of fact against such an education. The children educated thus are, when grown up, actually worse than other men or women.” I doubt the fact; nay, that is not enough, I totally deny it. As frequently as this has been affirmed, it is notoriously false. Some few, and very few, of those women that were brought up by Miss Bosauquet or Miss Owen, either never were converted to God, (perhaps never convinced of sin,) or have “made shipwreck of the faith,” and, at the same time, of its attendant, a good conscience. And undoubtedly these would be worse than others; than those who had not so grieved the Holy Spirit of God. The same may be said of some of those men that were educated at Kingswood School. If they quenched the Spirit, they would be worse than those that never were partakers of it. But this proves nothing, unless it were a general case; which is not by any means true. Many, both of the women who were educated by Miss Bosanquet or Miss Owen, and of the men who were educated at Kingswood, are holy in heart and in life, and trust they shall praise God to all eternity that ever they saw those schools.

4. Yet I allow that what is commonly called a religious education frequently does more hurt than good; and that many of the persons who were so educated are sinners above other men, yea, and have contracted an enmity to religion, which usually continues all their lives. And this will naturally be the case, if either the religion wherein they are instructed, or the manner of instructing them, be wrong. But in most of those that are termed religious schools, there is a grand error either in the former or the latter instance.

5. With regard to the former, how few are there of those that undertake the education of children, who understand the nature of religion, who know what true religion is! some of them supposing it to be barely the doing no harm, the abstaining from outward sin; some; the using the means of grace, saving our prayers, reading, good books, and the like; and others, the having a train of right opinions, which is vulgarly called faith. But all these, however common in the world, are gross and capital errors. Unless religion be described as consisting in holy tempers; in the love of God and our neighbor; in humility, gentleness, patience, long-suffering, contentedness in every condition; to sum up all, in the image of God, in the mind that was in Christ; it is no wonder if these that are instructed therein are not better, but worse, than other men. For they think they have religion, when, indeed, they have none at all; and so add pride to all their other vices.

6. But suppose those that educate them judge right with regard to the nature of religion, they may still be mistaken with regard to the manner of instilling it into children. They may not have the spirit of government, to which some even good men are utter strangers. They may habitually lean to this or that extreme, of remissness or of severity. And if they either give children too much of their own will, or needlessly and churlishly restrain them; if they either use no punishment at all, or more than is necessary, the leaning either to one extreme or the other may frustrate all their endeavors. In the latter case, it will not be strange if religion stink in the nostrils of those that were so educated. They will naturally look upon it as an austere, melancholy thing; and if they think it necessary to salvation, they will esteem it a necessary evil, and so put it off as long as possible.

7. But does it follow, that we ought not to instill true religion into the minds of children as early as possible? Or, rather, that we should do it with all diligence from the very time that reason dawns, laying line upon line, precept upon precept, as soon and as fast as they are able to bear it? By all means. Scripture, reason, and experience jointly testify that, inasmuch as the corruption of nature is earlier than our instructions can be, we should take all pains and care to counteract this corruption as early as possible. The bias of nature is set the wrong way: Education is designed to set it right. This, by the grace of God, is to turn the bias from self-well, pride, anger, revenge, and the love of the world, to resignation, lowliness, meekness, and the love of God. And from the moment we perceive any of those evil roots springing up; it is our business immediately to check their growth, if we cannot yet root them out. As far as this can be done by mildness, softness, and gentleness, certainly it should be done. But sometimes these methods will not avail, and then we must correct with kind severity. For where tenderness will not remove the fault “he that spareth the rod, spoileth the child.” To deny this is to give the lie to the God of truth, and to suppose we can govern better than Him. For, “whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth.”

8. In the name of God, then, and by the authority of His word, let all that have children, from the time they begin to speak or run alone, begin to train them up in the way wherein they should go; to counterwork the corruption of their nature with all possible assiduity; to do everything in their power to cure their self-will, pride, and every other wrong temper. Then let them be delivered to instructors (if such can be found) that will tread in the same steps; that will watch over them as immortal spirits, who are shortly to appear before God, and who have nothing to do in this world but to prepare to meet Him in the clouds, seeing they will be eternally happy, if they are ready; if not, eternally miserable. JOHN WESLEY.