1751

About this time I received a remarkable letter;

part of which ran as follows: —

“When George Whitefield first preached on Kennington-Common, curiosity drew me to hear him frequently. I admired his zeal in calling sinners to repentance, but did not see myself to be one of that number; having had a religious education, even in spiritual religion, such as was not to be found in other societies.

“As soon as the Foundery was taken, I went thither constantly, morning as well as evening. But I had no desire of being acquainted with any of the society, much less of joining therein; being strongly resolved never to turn my back on the profession I was educated in.

“The next year I furnished myself with the books which John and Charles Wesley had printed. I compared them with Robert Barclay’s ‘Apology,’ and with the Bible; and of many things I was convinced: But what they said of Justification I could not comprehend; and I did not much concern myself about it, being but slightly convinced of sin.

“It was my custom to rise some hours before the family, and spend that time in reading. One Sunday morning I was just going to open my Bible, when a voice (whether inward or outward I cannot tell) seemed to say very loud, ‘God, for Christ’s sake, hat forgiven thee.’ I started up, took the candle and searched all about, to see if any one was near; but there was none. I then sat down, with such peace and joy in my soul as cannot be described. While I vas musing what it could mean, I heard it again, saying, ‘Go in peace, thy sins are forgiven thee.’ I trembled exceedingly, not with fear, but such an emotion as I cannot express. Yet I got up the second time, and opened the door, to see if it was any human voice. Soon after it was repeated the third time, still louder; which drove me on my knees to prayer, being, overwhelmed with the love of God, and, for the time, utterly incapable of doubt or fear.

“I now saw the New Testament in a different light than I had ever done before. All the day I was comforted with promises from it, either read or brought to my mind. Yet the thought, ‘May not all this be a delusion?’ frequently darted into me; but it as often drove me to prayer; upon which all doubt presently vanished away.

“I was immediately changed in my dress, conversation, and whole deportment; which brought on me the ridicule of all my acquaintance: But nothing moved me. I wondered what the Cross meant; for whatever appeared to be the will of God, I ran cheerfully to do, without a moment’s hesitation. I felt no temptation to anger, pride, or any other evil. Though often provoked, I was not ruffled in the least. God seemed to reign in my heart alone. He was all my desire, all my hope: And this light lasted about three months, without any cloud at all.

“But after this it pleased God to remove all at once the veil which, till then, covered my heart; though I do not remember that any disobedience preceded; for I feared sin more than death or hell. Yet in a moment such a scene was opened to me, that if I had not felt the hand of God underneath me, I should certainly have gone distracted. The infernal regions were represented to my view, day and night. At the same time I saw what I was by nature, and what I had deserved from God for all my sins. O how did Satan then strive to tear away my shield; and what a burden of sin did I feel! It is impossible to describe it. If I looked from God a moment, I was full of horror. I often feared I should lose my senses; but had no thought of death, nor fear concerning it. Yet hell appeared to me without a covering, and I seemed surrounded with devils, sleeping and waking. But I still holden this fast, ‘Thou hast forgiven me, O my God; and I will not let thee go.’

“All this time I constantly attended the preaching; and, having a strong desire to know whether friend Wesleys lived the Gospel, as well as preached it, I got acquainted with one who lived at the Foundery. I frequently sat and worked with her, and made all possible inquiries into the most minute circumstances of their behavior. This afterwards proved a great blessing to me; for when I heard any idle report, (and I heard not a few,) I could answer peremptorily, ‘I know the contrary.’ “Their preaching now took deeper hold of me than ever, and searched every corner of my heart. I saw I had nothing to bring to God, and was indeed vile in my own eyes. When my friends sometimes told me, how good I had been, their words were as sharp swords. I found I had nothing to trust in, but the atoning blood. But this trust kept my soul in constant peace.

“Thus I went on a considerable time, before I admitted any serious reflections concerning the ordinances; which indeed I did not care to think of at all, till one day reading in the third chapter of St. John’s Gospel, ‘Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God:’ The words struck me to the heart; I began to read over again, with all attention, what was written on both sides of the question. But this gave me no satisfaction; so I tried another way, giving myself up to earnest prayer, that God would guide me by his word and Spirit, into all that he required of me.

“However, these thoughts died away, and I was quite easy about it, till one Sunday, at Devonshire-Square meeting, it was brought to my mind in such a manner, that I believe the seat shook under me. I then plainly saw it was my duty, and determined to delay no longer: For that purpose I went to Cowley two or three days after. But all the night before it was to be done, I was in deep distress. I spent all the hours in weeping and prayer; and yet, as the morning drew on, my trouble increased, with strong terror, as if I was just going to execution. But I remained fixed in my purpose: And as soon as I was baptized, all the clouds dispersed, and I rejoiced more than ever in God my Savior.”

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I received another letter from a friend, on a subject of general concern: —

“VERY DEAR SIR,

“WHEN I have deeply mused on ages past, and on the revival of primitive Christianity in the present age, I have often queried, whether ever before our time there arose in any one place, and in the same instant, a visible Christian society, and a visible antichristian one. No doubt God had wise ends in permitting the Unitas Fratrum to appear, just as the people of God began to unite together. But we cannot fathom his designs. Yet we know all shall work together for his people’s good.

“Perhaps it required more grace to withstand this contagion, than would have enabled us to die for Christ; and very probably we should have been now a very different people from what we are, had we only had our own countrymen to cope with: We should then have only set the plain Gospel of Christ against what was palpably another Gospel, and the mind and life of Christ in opposition to that of those who are vulgarity termed Christians. And I verily believe, we should have been far higher in Christianity than most of us are at this day.

“But this subtle poison has more or less infected almost all, from the highest to the lowest, among us. We would put Gospel heads on bodies ready to indulge every unholy temper. Although, (glory be to God,) as a society, we stand at least as clear of joining with the Beast as ally other; yet we have not purged out all his leaven; the Antinomian spirit is not yet cast out.

“All our preaching at first was pointed at the heart, and almost all our private conversation. ‘Do you feel the love of God in your heart? Does his Spirit reign there? Do you walk in the Spirit? Is that mind in you which was in Christ?’ were frequent questions among us. But while these Preachers to the heart were going on gloriously in the work of Christ, the false Apostles stepped in, laughed at all heart work, and laughed many of us out of our spiritual senses: For, according to them, we were neither to see, hear, feel, nor taste the powers of the world to come; but to rest contented with what was done for us seventeen hundred years ago. ‘The dear Lamb,’ said they, ‘has done all for us: We have nothing to do, but to believe.’ Here was a stroke at the whole work of God in the heart! And ever since this German spirit hat wrought among us, and caused many to rest in a barren, notional faith, void of that inward power of God unto salvation.”

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I preached a charity sermon at Spitalfields, for the use of our poor children. The church was extremely crowded; but not many rich, not many eugeneis, “well-born,” were there. It was enough that there were many of the people of God, and their Lord in the midst of them.

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Having received a pressing letter from Dr. Isham, then the Rector of our College, to give my vote at the election for a Member of Parliament, which was to be the next day, I set out early, in a severe frost, with the northwest wind full in my face. The roads were so slippery, that it was scarce possible for our horses to keep their feet: Indeed one of them could not; but fell upon his head, and cut it terribly. Nevertheless, about seven in the evening, God brought us safe to Oxford. A congregation was waiting for me at Mr. Evans’s, whom I immediately addressed in those awful words, “What is a man profited, is he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

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I went to the schools, where the Convocation was met: But I did not find the decency and order which I expected. The gentleman for whom I came to vote, was not elected: Yet I did not repent of my coming; I owe much more than this to that generous, friendly man, who now rests from his labors.

I was much surprised wherever I went, at the civility of the people, — gentlemen as well as others. There was no pointing, no calling of names, as once; no, nor even laughter. What can this mean? Am I become a servant of men? Or is the scandal of the Cross ceased?

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We set out for London in another bitter morning,

having such a wind (now got to the east, and so in our face again) as I hardly ever remember. But by five in the evening we were under shelter at the Foundery. It being the night before appointed for a watch-night, we continued praying and praising God as usual, till about twelve o’clock; and I found no inconvenience, but a little faintness, which a few hours’ sleep removed.

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Having received a full answer from Mr. P——, I was clearly convinced that I ought to marry. For many years I remained single, because I believed I could be more useful in a single, than in a married state. And I praise God, who enabled me so to do. I now as fully believed, that in my present circumstances, I might be more useful in a married state; into which, upon this clear conviction, and by the advice of my friends, I entered a few days after.

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I met the single men, and showed them on how many accounts it was good for those who had received that gift from God, to remain “single for the kingdom of heaven’s sake;” unless where a particular case might be an exception to the general rule.

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After preaching at five, I was hastening to take my leave of the congregation at Snowsfields, purposing to set out in the morning for the north; when, on the middle of London-Bridge, both my feet slipped on the ice, and I fell with great force, the bone of my ankle lighting on the top of a stone. However, I got on, with some help, to the chapel, being resolved not to disappoint the people. After preaching, I had my leg bound up by a Surgeon, and made a shift to walk to the Seven-Dials. It was with much difficulty that I got up into the pulpit; but God then comforted many of our hearts.

I went back in a coach to Mr. B——’s, and from thence in a chair to the Foundery; but I was not able to preach, my sprain growing worse. I removed to Threadneedle-Street; where I spent the remainder of the week, partly in prayer, reading, and conversation, partly in writing an “Hebrew Grammar,” and “Lessons for Children.”

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I was carried to the Foundery, and preached, kneeling, (as I could not stand,) on part of the twenty-third Psalm; my heart being enlarged, and my mouth opened to declare the wonders of God’s love. Monday, 18, was the second day I had appointed for my journey; but I was disappointed again, not being yet able to set my foot to the ground. However, I preached (kneeling) on Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning.

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I preached, morning and evening, at Spitalfields, where many who had been wandering from God for several years, seemed, at length, to have fresh desires of returning to him. How is it that we are so ready to despair of one another? For want of the “love” that “hopeth all things.”

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Being tolerably able to ride, though not to walk, I set out for Bristol. I came thither on Wednesday, thoroughly tired; though, in other respects, better than when I set out.

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I learned that poor Mr. Hall is now a settled Deist. Now let those triumph who separated chief friends. Surely his blood is on their head.

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Many of our Preachers came from various parts. My spirit was much bowed down among them, fearing some of them were perverted from the simplicity of the Gospel. But I was revived at the sight of John H—— , John N——, and those who came with them in the evening; knowing they holden the truth as it is in Jesus, and did not hold it in unrighteousness.

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Our Conference began; and the more we conversed, the more brotherly love increased. The same spirit we found on Tuesday and Wednesday. I expected to have heard many objections to our first doctrines; but none appeared to have any: We seemed to be all of one mind, as well as one heart.

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I mentioned whatever I thought was amiss, or wanting, in any of our brethren. It was received in a right spirit, with much love, and serious, earnest attention; and, I trust, not one went from the Conference discontented; but rather, blessing God for the consolation.

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Having finished the business for which I came to Bristol, I set out again for London; being desired by many to spend a few days there before I entered upon my northern journey. I came to London on Thursday, and, having settled all affairs, left it again on Wednesday, 27. I cannot understand, how a Methodist Preacher can answer it to God, to preach one sermon, or travel one day less, in a married, than in a single state. In this respect surely, “it remaineth, that they who have wives be as though they had none.”

On Wednesday I rode with John Haime to Tetsworth; on Thursday, went on to Evesham. One from thence met us on Broadway-Hill. I was soon informed that Mr. Keech was buried the night before. His widow and daughter were sorrowing; but not as without hope; neither did they refrain from the preaching one day. So let my surviving friends sorrow for me.

I was to have preached in the Town-Hall; but a company of players had taken possession of it first. Our own Room could not contain the congregation; but to as many as could crowd into it, I applied, “What is a man profited, if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

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I rested at Evesham. Saturday, 30. I rode to Birmingham, and found God in the midst of the congregation. Sunday, 31. I earnestly warned the society against idle disputes and vain janglings; and afterwards preached on, “If ye be led by the Spirit, ye are not under the Law.” The hearts of many were melted within them; so that neither they nor I could refrain from tears. But they were chiefly tears of joy, from a lively sense of the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free.

At one I was obliged to preach abroad, the Room not being able to contain half the congregation. O how is the scene changed here! The last time I preached at Birmingham the stones flew on every side. If any disturbance were made now, the disturber would be in more danger than the Preacher. At five in the evening I preached at Wednesbury, to a still larger congregation; but no mocker or trifler appeared among them. How many of the last shall be first!

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I rode to Dudley. The dismal screaming wherewith we

were welcomed into the town, gave us reason to expect the same kind of reception as I had when I was there before. I began preaching immediately in a yard not far from the main street. Some at first seemed inclined to interrupt; but when they had heard a little, they grew more attentive, and stayed very quietly to the end; though it rained great part of the time. I had desired John Haime to preach at Wednesbury; but when I came, he had but just begun the hymn: So I had an opportunity, which I did not expect, of speaking again to that willing people. What a work would have been in all these parts, if it had not been for doubtful disputations! If the Predestinarians had not thrown back those who began to run well, partly into the world, partly to the Baptists, and partly into endless disputes concerning the secret counsels of God! While we carried our lives in our hands, none of these came near; the waves ran too high for them; but when all was calm, they poured in on every side, and bereaved us of our children. Out of these they formed one society here, one at Dudley, and another at Birmingham. Many indeed, though torn from us, would not stay with them, but broke out into the wildest enthusiasm. But still they were all called Methodists; and so all their drunkenness and blasphemies (not imputed to a believer) were imputed to us.

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I preached at Darlaston, late a den of lions: But most of the fiercest of them God has called away by a train of amazing strokes; and those that remain are now as lambs. I preached in the evening at Wednesbury; where, notwithstanding the rain, every man, woman, and child, stayed to the end. I gave them all an earnest caution not to lean on broken reeds, on opinions of any kind: And even the Predestinarians received it in love, and told me it was highly seasonable.

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I made an end of visiting the classes, miserably shattered by the sowers of strange doctrines. At one I preached at Tipton-Green, where the Baptists also have been making havoc of the flock; which constrained me, in speaking on those words, “Arise, and be baptized, and wash away thy sins,” to spend near ten minutes in controversy; which is more than I had done in public for many months (perhaps years) before.

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We took horse about four. The snow fell without intermission, which the north wind drove full in our faces. After resting awhile at Bilbrook, Newport, and Whitchurch, and riding some miles out of our way, we overtook some people going to the preaching at Alpraham, who guided us straight to the House. William Hitchins had not begun; so I took his place, and felt no weakness or weariness while I declared, “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and today, and for ever.”

APRIL 5. — (Being Good Friday.) I preached at eight, and then walked to Bunbury church. I preached again at one, and in the evening at Poole, near Nantwich, to another deeply serious congregation. The next evening we reached Manchester.

APRIL 7. — (Being Easter-Day.) After preaching, I went to the new church, and found an uncommon blessing, at a time when I least of all expected it; namely, while the Organist was playing a voluntary! We had a happy hour in the evening; many hearts being melted down in one flame of holy love.

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I rode to Shackerley. Being now in the very midst of Mr. Taylor’s disciples, I enlarged much more than I am accustomed to do, on the doctrine of Original Sin; and determined, if God should give me a few years’ life, publicly to answer his new gospel.

By the huge noise which was in the street, as we entered Bolton, I conjectured Satan would try his strength once more; but God suffered him not. The mob soon was vanished away, and I had both a numerous and a quiet congregation.

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The barber who shaved me said, “Sir, I praise God on your behalf. When you was at Bolton last, I was one of the most eminent drunkards in all the town; but I came to listen at the window, and God struck me to the heart. I then earnestly prayed for power against drinking; and God gave me more than I asked: He took away the very desire of it. Yet I felt myself worse and worse, till, on the 5th of April last, I could hold out no longer. I knew I must drop into hell that moment unless God appeared to save me: And he did appear. I knew he loved me; and felt sweet peace. Yet I did not dare to say I had faith, till yesterday was twelvemonth, God gave me faith; and his love has ever since filled my heart.”

Hence I rode with Mr. Milner to Ribchester, where some Clergymen had appointed to meet him; with whom we spent one or two hours in serious and useful conversation.

Between five and six we reached the vicarage at Chipping; where a few serious people soon assembled. The next day we rode to Ambleside; and, on Saturday, 13, over more than Welsh mountains, to Whitehaven.

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I heard two useful sermons at church, on, “Fear not them that can kill the body.” I preached at eight, on, “Is there no balm in Gilead?” and between one and two, at the market-place, on, “Thou art not far from the kingdom of God.” A few stones were thrown at first; but the bulk of the congregation was deeply serious; as well as in the evening, when I preached on, “Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God’s elect?” In meeting the classes the two next days, I observed one remarkable circumstance: Without an absolute necessity, none of this society ever miss their class. Among near two hundred and forty persons, I met one single exception, and no more.

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I rode to Clifton, six miles from Whitehaven. It was supposed few would come in the middle of the afternoon; but, on the contrary, there were abundantly more than any house could contain; so that, notwithstanding the keen northeast wind, I was obliged to preach in the street. Several of the poor people came after me to Cockermouth, where I stood at the end of the market-house, ten or twelve steps above the bulk of the congregation, and proclaimed “the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.” A large and serious congregation attended again at five on Thursday morning. We then rode to Gambles by, where I preached in the schoolhouse to as many serious people as it could contain; and on Friday, 19, crept on, through miserable roads, till we came to Hinely-Hill. Early in the morning we scaled the snowy mountains, and rode by the once delightful seat of the late Lord Derwentwater; now neglected, desolate, and swiftly running to ruin. In the afternoon we brought Mr. Milner safe to the Orphan-House at Newcastle.

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The rain obliged me to preach in the House both morning and afternoon. The spirit of the people refreshed me much, as it almost always does. I wish all our societies were like-minded; as loving, simple, and zealous of good works.

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The rain stopped while I was preaching at the market-place in Morpeth. We rode from thence to Alnwick, where (it being too wet to preach at the Cross) some of our friends procured the Town-Hall. This, being very large, contained the people well; only the number of them made it extremely hot.

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We rode on to Berwick-upon-Tweed. At six in the evening a young man was buried, cut off in the strength of his years, who was to have inherited a considerable fortune. Almost the whole town attended the funeral. I went directly from the church-yard to the grave, and had full as many attendants as the corpse; among whom were abundance of fine, gay things, and many soldiers.

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Mr. Hopper and I took horse between three and four, and about seven came to Old-Camus. Whether the country was good or bad we could not see, having a thick mist all the way. The Scotch towns are like none which I ever saw, either in England, Wales, or Ireland: There is such an air of antiquity in them all, and such a peculiar oddness in their manner of building. But we were most surprised at the entertainment we met with in every place, so far different from common report. We had all things good, cheap, in great abundance, and remarkably well-dressed. In the afternoon we rode by Preston-Field, and saw the place of battle, and Colonel Gardiner’s house. The Scotch here affirm, that he fought on foot after he was dismounted, and refused to take quarter. Be it as it may, he is now “where the wicked cease from troubling, and where the weary are at rest.”

We reached Musselburgh between four and five. I had no intention to preach in Scotland; nor did I imagine there were any that desired I should. But I was mistaken. Curiosity (if nothing else) brought abundance of people together in the evening. And whereas in the kirk (Mrs. G—— informed me) there used to be laughing and talking, and all the marks of the grossest inattention: But it was far otherwise here: They remained as statues from the beginning of the sermon to the end.

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We rode to Edinburgh; one of the dirtiest cities I had ever seen, not excepting Colen in Germany.

We returned to Musselburgh to dinner, whither we were followed in the afternoon by a little party of gentlemen from Edinburgh. I know not why any should complain of the shyness of the Scots toward strangers. All I spoke with were as free and open with me as the people of Newcastle or Bristol; nor did any person move any dispute of any kind, or ask me any question concerning my opinion.

I preached again at six, on, “Seek ye the Lord, while he may be found.” I used great plainness of speech toward them; and they all received it in love: So that the prejudice which the devil had been several years planting was torn up by the roots in one hour. After preaching, one of the Bailies of the town, with one of the Elders of the Kirk, came to me, and begged I would stay with them a while, if it were but two or three days, and they would fit up a far larger place than the school, and prepare seats for the congregation. Had not my time been fixed, I should gladly have complied. All I could now do was, to give them a promise that Mr. Hopper would come back the next week, and spend a few days with them.

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I rode back to Berwick. The congregation was large, though the air was piercingly cold: As it was the next evening, while I preached at Alnwick Cross; where, on Sunday, 28, I preached at eight and at one. Afterwards I rode to Alemouth, where I had found the largest congregation I have seen in all Northumberland. I preached at Widdrington in the evening; at Plessy, Monday, 29, about noon; and at Newcastle in the evening.

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I rode to Sheep-Hill, in a rough, tempestuous day; and, after preaching and settling the society, to Sunderland. I found many here much alive to God, and was greatly comforted among them.

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I met the society at five, preached at eight, and then rode to Painsher. Just as the congregation came out of the church, I began. We had some heavy showers; but none went away. I reached Newcastle before five; but the storm would not suffer me to preach abroad. As many as possibly could, crowded in; but many were obliged to stand without, while I enforced, “God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

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I met a few people at Durham, in my way, and then rode on to Stockton. Some angry people set up a dismal scream, as we entered the town; but they could go no farther. By means of a plain, rough Exhorter, who lived in the town, the society was more than doubled since I was here before; and most of them were rejoicing greatly: Only poor R—— M—— still went on heavily, being unequally yoked with one who was a bitter enemy to all spiritual religion. I preached in the main street, near the market-place. When I had done, R—— M——’s wife followed me into the house. I desired we might go to prayer. God broke her heart in pieces; and she determined to go on hand in hand with her husband.

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I preached at Acomb, near York. The next day I rode on to Epworth; and on Thursday preached at Hainton about noon, and at Coningsby in the evening. The wind was as the piercing of a sword; but the congregation regarded it not.

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We rode to Lorborough. The Minister’s son, and two more, made a little disturbance for a while: However, I permitted them to be present when I met the society. They seemed utterly astonished, and I believe will not lightly speak evil of us again.

It rained incessantly as we rode to Grimsby, where I preached to a mixed congregation, some of whom (the greater part) were exceeding serious, and some exceeding drunk. The society I found was much alive to God.

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We returned to Epworth, to a poor, dead, senseless people: At which I did not wonder, when I was informed,

1. That some of our Preachers there had diligently gleaned up and retailed all the evil they could hear of me:

2. That some of them had quite laid aside our hymns, as well as the doctrine they formerly preached:

3. That one of them had frequently spoke against our Rules, and the others quite neglected them. Nothing, therefore but the mighty power of God could have kept the people so well as they were.

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After preaching at five, I rode to Misterton. The congregation was the largest I have seen in these parts. Thence I returned to Overthorpe, where I did not observe one trifling or careless hearer. I came to Epworth just in time for the afternoon Service; and, after church, walked down straight to the Cross. The northeast wind was strong and keen; yet the bulk of the congregation did not regard it.

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I learned the particulars of Mr. R——’s case, of which I had heard but a confused account before. “In November last he was desired to baptize a child of John Varley’s. It was observed, his voice which had been lost several years, was entirely restored. He read the Office with great emotion and many tears, so as to astonish the whole congregation. But going home from church, he behaved in so strange a manner, that it was thought necessary to confine him. During the first week of his confinement, he was for constraining every one that came near him to kneel down and pray; and frequently cried out, ‘You will be lost, you will be damned, unless you know your sins are forgiven.’ Upon this Mr. — roundly averred that the Methodists had turned his head. After seven or eight days he grew much worse, though still with intervals of reason; and in about a fortnight, by a judgment mixed with mercy, God took him to himself.”

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The waters were greatly out in the road, so that the York coach was overturned just before us; the bridge it should have gone over being under water: Yet no passenger was hurt, only dropping wet, being all thrown into the river. We were to pass the same river a few miles off; and which way to do it we knew not. But just as we came to the place, we overtook two gentlemen who had hired a guide. So we followed them as close as we could, and crossed it without difficulty.

I preached about five at Leeds, in the walls of the New House. Wednesday,

15. We had a little Conference with about thirty Preachers. I particularly inquired concerning their grace, and gifts, and fruit; and found reason to doubt of one only.

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I rode to Wakefield; but we had no place, except the street, which could contain the congregation; and the noise and tumult there were so great, that I knew not whether I could preach at all: But I spake a few words, and the waves were still. Many appeared deeply attentive. I believe God has taken hold of some of their hearts, and that they will not easily break loose from him.

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I preached in the New House at Birstal, already too small for even a week-day’s congregation. After a few days more spent among the neighboring societies, I returned, by easy journeys, to London.

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I wrote as follows to the Rector and Fellows of our

College: —

EGO Johannes Wesley, Collegii Lincolniensis in Academia Oxoniensi Socius, quisquid mihi juris est in praedicta Societate, ejusdem Rectori et Sociis sponte ac libere resigno: Illis universis et singulis perpetuam pacem ac omnimodam in Christo felicitatem exoptans. 8

A few days after I went down to Bristol, where I procured a particular account of one that went to rest some months before. Part of it was as follows: —

“Elizabeth Walcam was born in March, 1733. From her infancy she was mild and affable. When she was about six years old, she was much in private prayer; and often called her brother and sister to join with her. If she was in any trifling and laughing company, she seldom went farther than a little smile. In the whole course of her life she was remarkably dutiful to her parents, and loving to all; mostly in an even frame of spirit; slow to anger, and soon pacified; tender-hearted to all that were distressed, and a lover of all that was good.

“From the time she joined the society, she was a true lover of her Ministers and her brethren; not suffering any to speak evil of them, particularly of her Ministers: And, if her innocent answers did not stop them, she left their company.

“In the beginning of December last she was indisposed; and on Saturday, 8, took her room. In the afternoon she broke out, ‘When shall I see my Jesus? I want to know that He has taken away my sins.’ After a while she cried, ‘He does love me. I know Jesus loves me. My father! He is my Father and my God.’

“Yet on the Wednesday following she was in deep distress. I found her, says one who then visited her, crying out, ‘O that I was washed in the blood of the Lamb! Pray for me, that I may know my sins are forgiven.’ I prayed with her several times, and stayed all night. She did not sleep at all; her pain of body, as well as mind, being exceeding great. She was almost continually in prayer, crying for mercy, till I went away about eight in the morning.

“About nine in the evening I came again. She was still in violent pain, but did not seem to regard this in comparison of her soul. Her continual cry was, ‘I do not know Christ: I want an interest in Christ. O that I might know Him! O that He would forgive my sins; that He would wash me whiter than snow!’ She had never any ease but while we were at prayer, with which she was never satisfied; but holden me, and would not let me rise from my knees, sometimes for an hour together. I was praying with her about twelve o’clock, when she called out, ‘Help me to praise the Lord. I feel my sins are forgiven. I am washed and made whiter than snow.’ She spent the remainder of the night in praise and prayer. About eight in the morning I went home.

“On Sunday evening I found her much weaker in body, but her soul was full of life and vigor. When I came in, she said, ‘I am exceeding glad you are come. Now let us rejoice together. We shall meet together in heaven. I am washed in the blood of the Lamb: I know God is my Father. I know my name is written in heaven: There we shall all rejoice together.’ She was never satisfied with giving thanks; not suffering me to rise from my knees, but holding me by my hands when I wanted to rise.

“About eight Mrs. W—— came in, and told us Mr. C—— W—— was come to town. She then broke out into prayer for him, for Mr. J—— W— —, and for the society. Afterward she prayed for the Q——rs, that God would deliver them from all darkness of mind, covetousness, pride, and the love of the world. She continued praying till near twelve o’clock, speaking with a clear, strong voice; although whenever she ceased speaking, she seemed just dying away. About twelve she cried out, ‘Lord, forgive me! What shall I do to be saved?’ I was astonished to hear her voice so changed; and asked, ‘My dear, what is it distresses you?’ She answered, ‘I feel anger toward Peggy.’ (That was the maid’s name.) ‘Lord, forgive me! Lord, lay not this sin to my charge!’ We went to prayer together; and, after a time, she said, ‘Help me to bless and thank the Lord. I find sweet refreshments from Him. He is reconciled again.’ And from that hour she found no more darkness.

“She then began praying for her parents, her sisters, and brother; adding, ‘Do pray, that God would restrain him from the evils of this world. I have been restrained from a child. I never could play, as other children did.’ Towards morning she dozed a little; but all the intervals she spent in praise and thanksgiving, still speaking with as clear and strong a voice as if she had been in health.

“One day as she was praising God, one desired her brother to take pattern by her. She immediately answered, ‘Not by me; take pattern by Jesus, — take pattern by Jesus!’

“About twelve at night, as I came into the room, she said, ‘My heart is blessed of the Lord; and by the strength of the living God I speak. Come, let us go to prayer; let us praise the living God once more in this world; the Lord ever.’ Here her breath failed. But soon after, she sung with us, Come, let us join our cheerful songs;

adding, ‘I am more afraid to live than to die; but whether I live or die, I will praise the Lord.’

“On Sunday morning she said, ‘Jesus loves me; he has been always with me; he is a merciful God; he is indeed. I shall go to glory, to glory. Come, O Lord Jesus, and make my passage easy to eternal glory! I long to be with Jesus. I could grasp him!’ (stretching out her arms!) ‘O give me an easy passage! — We shall soon meet again, to sing praises unto the Lord for ever.’

“At another time she said, ‘Let others do what they will, we will praise the Lord. I am happy, I am easy; if he raises me or not, I shall praise the Lord.’

“She said to her father, ‘I asked to drink of the bitter cup; but I knew not what I asked. But yet, if it is an hundred times more, I desire to drink it all.’

“As she grew weaker, she was seized with strong convulsions, which followed close one upon another. But the moment the fit ceased, she always began to speak, praying and praising God; nor was her understanding, or even her memory, either disordered or weakened thereby: Nay, her understanding remained even during the fit; so that she heard and knew all that was spoken near her; and when she recovered her speech, repeated as there was occasion, and remarked upon it. “When Mr. C—— W—— and two others came to pray with her, she was exceeding low. After they were gone, she said, ‘My spirit joins with them: They are the people of God; I know they are. How sweet they look! Don’t they look different from other people? Come, mother, let us praise God: I am always better after prayer. O for a thousand tongues to sing my dear Redeemer’s praise! O how great is my rejoicing! I shall be whiter than the driven snow.’

“Soon after, she said, ‘I am refreshed; indeed I am. We shall see him on his great white throne. There we shall see him face to face. My dear Jesus! Praise Jesus: Why don’t you praise Jesus? Praise my God: He is making intercession for me; He is: The Lord loves me; I know he does.’ “To her mother she said, ‘What a blessed thing it is, that you have brought up a child for the Lord!’

“She continued praying and praising God till the 25th, when her breath was so short, that she could say nothing but ‘Jesus.’ This she uttered continually as she could, till, about six in the evening, she resigned her spirit, without any sigh or groan, or alteration in her countenance, which had the same sweetness as when she was living. She lived on earth sixteen years, nine months, and eighteen days.”

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I drew up a short account of the case of Kingswood School.

1. The School began on Midsummer day, 1748. The first Schoolmasters were J—— J——, T—— R——, W—— S——, R—— M——, W——

S——, and A—— G——. The Rules were printed; and notwithstanding the strictness of them, in two or three months we had twenty-eight scholars: So that the family, including M—— D——, the housekeeper, R—— T——, our man, and four maid-servants, consisted of forty persons.

2. From the very beginning I met with all sorts of discouragements. Cavillers and prophets of evil were on every side. An hundred objections were made both to the whole design, and every particular branch of it; especially by those from whom I had reason to expect better things: Notwithstanding which, through God’s help, I went on; wrote an English, a Latin, a Greek, a Hebrew, and a French Grammar, and printed Praelectiones Pueriles, with many other books for the use of the School; and God gave a manifest blessing. Some of the wildest children were struck with deep conviction; all appeared to have good desires; and two or three began to taste the love of God.

3. Yet I soon observed several things which I did not like. The maids divided into two parties. R—— T—— studiously blew up the coals, by constant whispering and tale-bearing. M—— D—— did not supply the defects of other servants, being chiefly taken up with thoughts of another kind. And hence the children were not properly attended, nor were things done with due care and exactness.

4. The Masters should have corrected these irregularities; but they added to them. T—— R—— was so rough and disobliging, that the children were little profited by him. A—— G—— was honest and diligent; but his person and manner made him contemptible to the children. R—— M—— was grave and weighty in his behavior, and did much good, till W—— S— — set the children against him; and, instead of restraining them from play, played with them himself. J—— J—— and W—— S—— were weighed down by the rest, who neither observed the Rules in the school nor out of it.

5. The continual breach of that rule, “Never to let the children work, but in the presence of a Master,” occasioned their growing wilder and wilder, till all their religious impressions were worn off; and the sooner, as four or five of the larger boys were very uncommonly wicked.

6. When I came down in September, 1750, and found the scholars reduced to eighteen, I determined to purge the house thoroughly. Two more of the children (one of them exquisitely wicked) I sent home without delay. M— — D——, T—— R——, R—— M——, and three of the maids were

gone away already: R — T —,W—— S——,and A—— G—— went

after; so that only two Masters, Mr. J—— and S——, remained with Mrs. Hardwick, one maid, and sixteen scholars.

7. I now hoped the time was come for God to revive his work: But we were not low enough yet. So first J—— J——, and then W—— S——, grew weary; the Rules were neglected again; and in the following winter, Mr. Page died, and five more scholars went away. What weakened the hands of the Masters still more, was the bitter evil-speaking, of some who continually endeavored either to drive away the children that remained, or to prevent others from coming.

8. There are now two Masters, the housekeeper maid, and eleven children. I believe all in the house are at length of one mind; and trust God will bless us in the latter end, more than in the beginning.

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I wrote an account of that wonderful self-deceiver; and hypocrite, James Wh——. O what a scandal has his obstinate wickedness brought on the Gospel! And what a curse on his own head!

1. IN the beginning of June, Richard Pearce, of Bradford, wrote to my brother at Bristol, desiring that he would narrowly inquire into the behavior of Mr. James Wh——: And not long after, Mrs. Silby, of Bradford, related some strange particulars: In order to be thoroughly informed of which, my brother rode over to Bradford; and, on Wednesday, June 12, talked himself with Mary B——, Jane W——, Elizabeth L——, Mary S——, Mary F——, Ann W——, and Mary D——. The same

accounts which they had before given to Mrs. Silby, they now gave to my brother and her together; and afterwards, to Sarah Perin and Mary Naylor, without varying in any one circumstance.

2. My brother wrote down what they said, and at his return to Bristol, read it to James Wh——, who consented to come face to face with them; and on Tuesday, 25, my brother and I rode with him to Bearfield. Mary B—— and Mary D—— were there, and repeated before him what they had said to my brother. He called at one or two trifling circumstances, but allowed the substance of what they said to be true.

3. After deeply weighing the matter, I read the following paper before I gave it into his hands: —

“June 25, 1751.

“BECAUSE you have wrought folly in Israel, grieved the Holy Spirit of God, betrayed your own soul into temptation and sin, and the souls of many others, whom you ought, even at the peril of your own life, to have guarded against all sin; because you have given occasion to the enemies of God, whenever they shall know these things, to blaspheme the ways and truth of God:

“We can in no wise receive you as a fellow-laborer, till we see clear proofs of your real and deep repentance. Of this you have given us no proof yet. You have not so much as named one single person, in all England or Ireland, with whom you have behaved ill, except those we knew before. “The least and lowest proof of such repentance which we can receive, is this: That till our next Conference, (which we hope will be in October,) you abstain both from preaching, and from practicing physic. If you do not, we are clear; we cannot answer for the consequences “JOHN WESLEY.

“CHARLES WESLEY.”

4. Wednesday, 26, I desired him to meet me at Farleywick, with the other women, at eight in the morning. All the five women came, and gave my wife the same account which they had before given to my brother: But Mr. Wh—— did not come till after they were all gone.

5. On Thursday and Friday my brother and I spared no pains to persuade him to retire for a season; but it was labor lost. He professed himself, indeed, and we would fain have thought him, penitent; but I could not find any good proof that he was so. Nay, I saw strong proof that he was not: —

1. Because he never owned one tittle but what he knew we could prove.

2. Because he always extenuated what he could not deny.

3. Because he as constantly accused others as excused himself; saying, many had been guilty of little imprudences as well as he.

4. Because, in doing this, he told several palpable untruths, which he well knew so to be.

6. Yet still we spared him, hoping God would give him repentance. But finding, after some weeks, that he continued going from house to house, justifying himself, and condemning my brother and me for misrepresenting him, on Monday, July 22, I rode to Bearfield again, and put myself to the pain of writing down from the mouths of these seven women, as near as I could in their own words, the accounts which I judged to be most material. I read over to each what I had written, and asked if I had mistaken anything. Every one answered, No; it was the very truth, as she was to answer it before God.

I would now refer it to any impartial judge, whether we have shown too much severity; whether we have not rather leaned to the other extreme, and shown too much lenity to so stubborn an offender.

Even when I returned to London soon after, I declined, as much as possible, mentioning any of these things; having still a distant hope, that Almighty Love might at length bring him to true repentance. Some who came up from Lincolnshire in the beginning of August, occasioned my writing the following letter: —

“REV. SIR, London, August 15, 1751.

“1. I TAKE the liberty to inform you, that a poor man, late of your parish, was with me some time since, as were two others a few days ago, who live in or near Wrangle. If what they affirmed was true, you was very nearly concerned in some late transactions there. The short was this: That a riotous mob, at several times, particularly on the 7th of July, and the 4th of this month, violently assaulted a company of quiet people, struck many of them, beat down others, and dragged some away, whom, after abusing them in various ways, they threw into drains, or other deep waters, to the endangering of their lives. That, not content with this, they broke open a house, dragged a poor man out of bed, and drove him out of the house naked; and also greatly damaged the goods; at the same time threatening to give them all the same or worse usage, if they did not desist from that worship of God which they believed to be right and good. “2. The poor sufferers, I am informed, applied for redress, to a neighboring Justice of the Peace. But they could have none. So far from it, that the Justice himself told them, the treatment was good enough for them; and that if they went on, (in worshipping God according to their own conscience,) the mob should use them so again.

“3. I allow, some of those people might behave with passion or ill-manners. But if they did, was there any proportion at all between the fault and the punishment? Or, whatever punishment was due, does the law direct, that a riotous mob should be the inflicters of it? “4. I allow also, that this gentleman supposed the doctrines of the Methodists (so called) to be extremely bad. But is he assured of this? Has he read their writings? If not, why does he pass sentence before he hears the evidence? If he has, and thinks them wrong, yet is this a method of confuting to be used in a Christian — a Protestant country? Particularly in England, where every man may think for himself, as he must give an account for himself to God?

“5. The sum of our doctrine, with regard to inward religion, (so far as I understand it,) is comprised in two points: The loving God with all our hearts, and the loving our neighbor as ourselves. And with regard to outward religion, in two more: The doing all to the glory of God; and the doing to all what we would desire in like circumstances should be done to us. I believe no one will easily confute this by Scripture and sound reason; or prove that we preach or hold any other doctrine as necessary to salvation.

“6. I thought it my duty Sir, though a stranger to you, to say thus much, and to request two things of you: 1. That the damage these poor people have sustained may be repaired; and, next, that they may, for the time to come, be allowed to enjoy the privilege of Englishmen, — to serve God according to the dictates of their own conscience. On these conditions they are heartily willing to forget all that is past.

“Wishing you all happiness, spiritual and temporal, I remain, Reverend Sir,

“Your affectionate brother and servant.”

Mr. B—— was not so wise as to take my advice. So the sufferers applied to the Court of King’s Bench; and after it had cost him a large sum, he was glad to let them worship God in their own way.

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Calling on a gentleman in the city, whom I had not seen for some time, I was surprised to find him thin and pale, and with all the marks of an approaching consumption. I asked whether he did not think a journey would do him more good than a heap of medicines; and whether he would set out with my wife and me for Cornwall, on Monday: To which he willingly assented.

On Monday evening I preached at Reading. Mr. B—— overtook us on Tuesday morning, with whom we had an agreeable ride to Newbury, and thence to Andover. Leaving him there, I rode on, through heavy rain, to Salisbury; and preached in the evening to an attentive congregation.

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We joined companies again, till Mr. B—— went to

Shaftesbury. I overtook him there the next morning, and we rode on together to Yeovil. Here I struck off, to visit the societies in Devonshire, and Mr. B—— went straight forward to the Land’s-End, whence he returned in perfect health.

I now found more and more proofs that the poor wretch whom we had lately disowned, was continually laboring to poison our other Preachers. And with some of them he did not lose his labor; the deep prejudices they then received having utterly drank up their blood and spirits; so that we were obliged, sooner or later, to part with them also. We reached Beercrocombe in the evening, and Collumpton the next day,

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I preached in the little meadow at the end of New-Street, and observed one circumstance which I had not seen elsewhere. The people did not come close to me, but stood in an half-moon, some yards off, leaving a considerable space in the midst. The very children behaved with remarkable seriousness. I saw but one, a girl of three or four years old, who ran about as in play, till another, not much bigger, reproved her, and constrained her to stand still. Here I rested the next day.

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I heard at church, by way of sermon, part of “Papists and Methodists Compared.” But it did not lessen the congregation at one: On whom I enforced, (what they were somewhat more concerned in,) “What shall it profit a man” to “gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” I then rode over to Tiverton, and preached in the market-house, filled with attentive hearers. So it was on Monday likewise.

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We rode to Uffculm, about eight miles from Tiverton, and

preached in the market-place to a larger congregation than one would think the town could have afforded. Wednesday, 28. It being the time of their yearly meeting at the school, abundance of gentlemen came to town. Yet I preached in the market-house undisturbed; and afterwards met the society in peace.

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There was a sermon preached at the old church, before the Trustees of the school. At half an hour past twelve the Morning Service began: But such insufferable noise and confusion I never saw before in a place of worship: No, not even in a Jewish synagogue. The Clergy set the example; laughing and talking during great part both of the Prayers and sermon.

A young gentlewoman, who was with us where we dined, hastened away to prepare for the ball. But before she was half dressed, she was struck, and came down in a flood of tears. Nevertheless, she broke through, and in a few hours danced away all her convictions.

Toward the close of the sermon in the evening, a rabble of gentlemen’s servants gathered together, and endeavored to make a disturbance: But it was mere lost labor.

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I inquired into the particulars of the last fire here. It began on June 4, about six in the evening. Four engines were brought immediately; and water in abundance ran through the middle of the street: Notwithstanding, it seized four houses instantly, spread across the street, and ran on both sides, right against the wind, till it had burnt all the engines, and made all help impossible. When most of the people had given up all hopes, it stopped all on a sudden: On one side of the street, by blowing up the market-house; on the other, none could tell how: Having first left about three hundred families without a place where to lay their heads.

I preached at six, on those words in the Morning Lesson, “We desire to hear of thee what thou thinkest: For, as concerning this sect, we know everywhere it is spoken against.” A drunken man made a little noise, but a Clergyman present desired the Town-Clerk to stop him; which he did immediately. Then the mob of footmen began, having procured an horn, and greatly increased their numbers. But a party of the townsmen undertook them, and scoured the streets of them in a few minutes. To revenge themselves, they laid hold on a poor chimney-sweeper they met, though no Maccabee, (as the common people call us here,) carried him away in triumph, and (we heard) half murdered him, before he got out of their hands.

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We rode to Launceston. The mob gathered immediately, and attended us to the Room. They made much noise while I was preaching, and threw all kind of things at the people as they came out; but no one was hurt.

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At the desire of many I went at eight into the main

street. A large congregation of serious people quickly gathered together. Soon after a mob of boys and gentlemen gathered on the other side of the street: They grew more and more noisy; till, finding I could not be heard there, I went to the Room, and quietly finished my discourse. I preached again as soon as we came out of church, and then hasted to Tresmere. Mr. T—— not being come, I read Prayers myself, and found an uncommon blessing therein: I preached on Luke 20:23, 24, “Blessed are the eyes which see the things that ye see,” etc.: And great was our rejoicing in the Lord. We were filled with consolation. We sang praises lustily and with a good courage; till, (is a manner I never remember before,) A solemn reverence check’d our songs,

And praise sat silent on our tongues.

We were well buffeted both with wind and rain, in riding from thence to J—— T——’s, where the congregation was waiting for me. And we had another season of solemn joy in the Lord.

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We rode to Camelford. In the way I read Mr. Glanvill’s “Relations of Witchcraft.” I wish the facts had had a more judicious relater: One who would not have given a fair pretense for denying the whole, by his awkward manner of accounting for some of the circumstances.

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We called in the afternoon on Mr. H——, in Camborn parish.

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I rode in a stormy afternoon to St. Just. But the rain would not let me preach abroad, either that evening, or on Sunday morning. About noon I made shift to stand on the lee-side of an house in Morva, and preach Christ to a listening multitude. I began at Newlyn about five. About the middle of the sermon there was a vehement shower of rain and hail: But the bulk of the congregation stood quite still, every man in his place.

On Monday and Tuesday I preached in Ludgvan, Sithney, Crowan, and Illogan. Wednesday, 11. At noon I preached in Redruth; and in the evening in Gwennap. It blew hard, and rained almost without ceasing: But the congregation stood as if it had been a fair summer’s evening.

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We rode to Penryn. Here I light upon the works of that odd writer, William Dell. From his whole manner, one may learn, that he was not very patient of reproof or contradiction: So that it is no wonder there is generally so much error mixed with the great truths which he delivers.

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I preached at St. Mewan; Saturday, 14, at St. Lawrence, near Bodmin; a little, ugly, dirty, village, eminent for nothing but an Hospital for lepers, founded and endowed by Queen Anne. But I found God was there, even before I opened my mouth, to a small, loving congregation; one of whom had been sensible of his acceptance with God for above six-and-fifty years.

I preached at St. Clear in the afternoon, about two miles from Liskeard; and the next morning a mile nearer the town. Hence I went on to Plymouth-Dock; where I preached in the evening, to a large congregation: And on Monday evening to a much larger; with great plainness of speech.

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Being greatly importuned to spend a few more days in Cornwall, I rode back to Launceston. After preaching there about noon; in the evening at St. Gennis; and the next morning at Cubert; we went on, and reached St. Ives in the afternoon, on Thursday, 19.

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I read, with great prejudice in their favor, some of Mr. Erskine’s Sermons; particularly those which I had heard much commended, entitled, “Law-Death, Gospel-Life.” But how was I disappointed! I not only found many things odd and unscriptural, but some that were dangerously false; and the leaven of Antinomianism spread from end to end.

On Saturday and Sunday I preached at St. Just, Morva, and Zennor.

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We had a general meeting of the Stewards, and a solemn

watch-night. After the Service was over I rode to Camborn; and in the evening, Tuesday, 24, reached St. Clear. The house would not contain one half of the people; so I stood in the porch, that all, both within and without, might hear. Many from Liskeard were present; and a solemn awe was upon the whole assembly.

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After preaching about noon at Plymouth-Dock, we went on to Mr. V——’s at C——. The next evening we reached Tiverton, where a large number of serious people were waiting for me. The sons of Belial were likewise gathered in great numbers, with a drummer at their head. When I began speaking, they began drumming and shouting: Notwithstanding which, I went through my sermon, to the no small mortification of Satan’s servants, and the joy of the servants of God. I would have walked home without delay; but our brethren constrained me to step into an house. One of the merchants of the town quickly followed me, with a Constable, and one or two servants, who took me between them, carried me through all the mob, and brought me safe to my own lodgings.

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In the evening I preached at Beercrocombe; and Saturday, 28, came to Bristol.

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I had much comfort among the children in Kingswood, finding several of them that really feared God.

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This week I had an opportunity of speaking to most of the members of the society in Bristol, who are now as calm and well-united together, as if James Wh — had never been.

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We had a solemn watch-night at Kingswood. John How, one of our nearest neighbors, a strong, health man, went home soon after twelve; said, “My feet are cold;” and spoke no more. He lay quietly down, and, without any struggle, was dead before one.

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I preached at Bath, and the next day at Salisbury.

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We rode leisurely on to Basingstoke; and came, about two hours after sunset, to Bramsel.

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Farmer N——, who had begged me to come that way, upon

the Minister’s offering me the use of his church, informing me, that his mind was changed, I rode over to Reading, preached at one and at five; and on Monday, 21, rode forward to London.

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After preaching at West-Street chapel in the evening, I walked to Lambeth, to see Miss Sm——, who had for several days expressed an earnest desire to see either my brother or me. When I came, her sister told me, her senses were gone, and that she had not spoke for several hours. But she spoke as soon as I took her by the hand, and declared an hope full of immortality. I prayed with her, and praised God on her behalf. An hour or two after, her spirit returned to God.

AN EXTRACT

OF THE

REV. MR. JOHN WESLEY’S JOURNAL

FROM NOVEMBER 2, 1751, TO OCTOBER 28, 1754.

————

NUMBER IX

——————

JOURNAL

FROM NOVEMBER 2, 1751, TO OCTOBER 28, 1754.

—————

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Mr. Arvin, according to my desire,

informed Mr. M——, that I was willing to give him twenty pounds a year, for assisting me once a week. He refused it with the utmost indignation, and from that time spoke all manner of evil.

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I rode to Rochester, and the next day to Canterbury, where I preached, morning and evening, in what was lately the French church. We had not any disturbance from first to last, the Court of King’s Bench having broke the spirits of the rioters.

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I set out early in a clear, calm morning, and in the afternoon came to London.

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I began writing a letter to the Comparer of the Papists and Methodists. Heavy work, such as I should never choose; but sometimes it must be done. Well might the Ancient say, “God made practical divinity necessary, the devil controversial.” But it is necessary: We must “resist the devil,” or he will not “flee from us.”

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Being informed that Mr. K——, for some years

zealously attached to the Brethren, had now burst his chain, I bad a desire to hear, from his own mouth, how he was delivered. So a day or two after I talked with him at large, and wrote down the substance of his account, that I might make no mistake. After a few days I called upon him; I read over to him what I had written, and desired him to tell me if I had misunderstood him in any thing. And this account alone may be abundantly sufficient to pull off the mask from those cruel and deceitful men. I do not speak this of all; but of them with whom he had to do. “1. I was,” said he, “one of the first members of the society at the Foundery; and continued there till William Oxlee, about the latter end of the year 1740, persuaded me to join the Brethren. It was not long before I was admitted to most of their Conferences; and my love for them increased more and more, till, in the year 1741, I went over to Herndyke. “2. Here I saw several things I did not approve, particularly the arbitrary power with which the Heads of the Church governed, and the vast respect they showed to the rich, while the poor were little regarded; but I forgot all this when I returned to England, and gave myself up to their disposal. “3. I was soon after employed to collect money for repairing the chapel in Fetter-Lane. The manner of the Brethren was, to write to each of those who were accustomed to hear the preaching, and desire them, if they found their hearts free, to send five or ten guineas. As many of these were not at all awakened, I thought this was quite wrong. So I told Mr. M——; but he answered me short, ‘That does not concern you.’

“4. I saw several other things which I could not approve; and I spoke of them, but without effect. Some months after, Mr. Sp—— told me, ‘My brother, we are going to settle an economy of children at Lamb’s Inn; and it is the Savior’s will, that you should go there, and be the Physician of the house.’ I thought it strange, for I did not understand physic: However, I did not dare to reason; so I went.

“5. The management here gave me a great shock. Without any regard to the Rules laid down, R—— U—— and his wife, the Directors of the economy, behaved in the most haughty and tyrannical manner. Those who were set over the children had no gifts for the work, and some of them little care for their own souls. Several of the children were whipped without cause, and sometimes out of measure; by which ill management, one of mine was utterly ruined, and has had no fear of God ever since. As for me, I might give advice if I would; but none regarded it: And when I rose one night and covered the children, who had thrown the clothes off in their sleep, Mr. U—— sharply reproved me before the whole family; telling me I had done what I had no business to do; adding, that I was the most useless person in the whole house. I desired, that if so, I might return to London. With much difficulty they consented; and I made all haste back to my own house.

“6. But I grew more and more uneasy at their management; which the Brethren perceiving, sent me to Yorkshire. When I had been there a few days, one of them told me, I was to go to Great Horton in the morning; it being made out to the Brethren, that I was to preach there. I was amazed, having never had one thought of preaching. Yet I did not dare to refuse; and from that time they employed me to preach, and to visit all the souls through that circuit.

“7. At Holbeck we had an economy of young men. When I visited them, and examined them strictly, they declared to me so much of their Onanism, wh——ms, and other abominations, that I was utterly astonished. I was constrained to rebuke them sharply; for which, in a few days, I received a severe letter from Mr. Sp——, telling me I was destroying God’s dear children, instead of building them up; and that therefore I was neither to preach nor labor any more in Yorkshire.

“8. In a little while I was sent for to London, to accompany Mrs. St—— into Germany; but the letter being delayed, although I rode post, she was gone before I came. Some time after, I was appointed a member of the Committee of Six, to whom an account was to be transmitted by all the Laborers, of all the steps which they took, either at home or abroad. “One of our fundamental rules was, not to run in debt above thirty pounds; therefore, when Mr. Sp—— brought in a bill of more than three hundred, I was exceedingly startled, and moved that the particulars of it might be given in, and that all our accounts might be clearly and fairly stated. Wencel Neuser, being present, (though not one of our members,) took me up for this very severely, telling me, they were servants of the Savior, and would give no account to men.

“9. I was more and more uneasy at their way of proceeding, till one day, Mr. Sl—— came to me, and asked me, if I was willing to go to Bedford, for six or eight days. I told him I was; and in a day or two set out. But Mr. Br—— told me, ‘Brother K——, you must not expect to do much good here; for there is the hidden curse among the souls, which I believe arises chiefly from the practice of procuring ab——, which is so common among the women.’ Nevertheless I did find a great blessing during the two or three months that I labored there; but I could not stay, having a strong impression on my mind that I was to labor in Jamaica.

“10. Upon my mentioning this to the Brethren, they said I should go thither as soon as possible; but it would be proper for me to go to Pennsylvania first, and spend a little time at Bethlehem. I believed they knew best; so, in the year 1744, I quitted my shop, left all my affairs unsettled, and sailed to Pennsylvania.

“11. I had full employ at Bethlehem, being appointed General Preacher, and expected to bear a part in all the Conferences. But it was not long before I was troubled more than ever, seeing so much craft and subtlety, and withal so much pride stateliness, and tyranny, in those that governed the Church. One instance, out of very many, was this: — W. Harding, who came over some time before me, and was a stated Preacher, had spoken to them freely and warmly, of several things which he thought reprovable. Upon this he was put out of all his offices, and all the Brethren were forbid to speak to him. Being forsaken of all, he was more uneasy still; on which the Brethren said he was mad. As such he was confined, and food was brought to him once or twice a day, by two or three young men, who likewise many times beat him very severely. At length he watched his opportunity, and made his escape; but they followed after, and took him, and a wooden house was built for him, not a quarter of a mile from the town, about ten foot square, and very dark. I was walking along near the place when they were bringing him thither. His cries and entreaties might have pierced an heart of stone. He begged that he might clean shoes, fetch them water, cleave wood, or whatever they pleased in the open air But it availed not: He was shut up. About six weeks after, as they opened the door one day, in order to give him some meat, he rushed out, got by them, and made toward Philadelphia, with all the speed he could. Being close pursued, he ran to the river, (being an excellent swimmer,) leaped in, sunk, and rose no more.

“12. I was then at New-York, whence I returned to Bethlehem, in January, 1746. But I had no rest in my spirit, till, after three weeks, I removed to Philadelphia. Here two of the Brethren and a widow woman lived in the Brethren’s house. I hired a room in it, and desired the widow, as I had not convenience myself, to boil me a little water in the morning for my tea. Meantime all the Brethren in Philadelphia were charged not to converse with me. And not long after, the two Brethren wrote Mr. Sp—— word, that I lived in adultery with the widow. When I was informed of this, I went straight to Bethlehem, and told Mr. Sp—— the whole affair; who immediately wrote back to them in Philadelphia, that I had confessed the charge.

“13. Being now thoroughly weary of mankind, I procured a little house, in a wood, at some miles distant from any town, and resolved to spend the remainder of my days by myself. Here I stayed about four years; till one afternoon, Mr. Sp—— and the Count’s son-in-law called upon me. We talked together till two in the morning. They acknowledged many things that had been wrong, promised they should be amended without delay, and persuaded me to join with them once more. But nothing was amended; so that, after a few months, I was constrained to leave them again. I followed my business in Philadelphia, till I had earned money for my passage, and a year ago returned to London.”

Was there ever so melancholy an account? O what is human nature! How low are they fallen, who were once burning and shining lights, spreading blessings wherever they came! But what infatuation is it which makes this very man attend their preaching still, and his wife (though she believes most of what her husband says) to remain in close connection with them!

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